Tuesday, August 02, 2005
(03/19/2005)context: the first appearance of the nerd squad. also, the guys get their new names. J - Gourd-Man (GM, G-M, or gourdy), GSG - the GoStoneMaster (GSM), Mr. G - Monotone Guy (MG), little J - CheeseShaman (CS or SoC).Able to leap tall equations with one mouse click...faster than a corny joke gone bad...sillier than that one guy you went to high school with...it's...
J: *poses* GOURD-MANNNN!!
*switches to shot of G-M shaking his gourd and groovin'* *shake-a shake-a shake-a*
Gostoneguy: and... *flex* the GO STONE MASTER!
*switches to shot of the GSM deftly flinging go stones upside a bad guy's head*
Mr. G: what? oh. and um....*sashay* MEEE!
G-M and GSM: ...wha?
Mr G: er...Monotone Guy?*switches to shot of MG calmly reading from the dictionary, making the bad guys drop their guns and go unconcious*
G-M: together, we join forces to become...All: THE NERD SQUAD! *pose* *in nerdy outfits with those cheap sunglasses with the neon-colored frames*
*cool 70's music, like from Shaft or something*
featuring Gourd-Man's arch nemesis....the Shaman of...Cheeeese....*dundunDUN*
little J: AHAHAHHA! ph33r m3! *conjures up slices of cheese* you will nevah defeat me, stupid nerd squad! BOW TO MY BRILLIANCE!
G-M: yeah, more like...lackluster...ance...
CS: >_< *flings cheese*
G-M: AH! my eye!
CS: BWHAH!
GSM: *jumps into the, um, fray* that's enough, Cheese Shaman! your days are over! like...um...like when i capture all of my opponent's territory!
MG: ...what?
GSM: like, uh....Kenny G's career?
G-M: huh?
GSM: ...like...milk turned sour?
G-M & MG: oooh. 9.9
CS: ENOUGH! *dunDUNNNN* *wild posing, flailing his, um, cape, that all bad guys have, y'know* *points at G-M* this is annoying like...like...you guys in general! or like that one teacher i had my freshman year of college!
MG: you mean a few weeks ago?
CS: shutup! *points at G-M again* I challenge you to....a D. D. R. ....standoff.
the audience: *GASP*
G-M: we have an audience? c007!
MG: ...cooz?
G-M: no man, like....cool.
MG: oh.
CS: *flail* DO YOU MIND?! I'm challenging you to like a standoff!
GSM: for what, exactly? and could we hurry this up? my Deathstar's double-parked.
CS: *exasperated, with a vein popping out of his forehead like in anime cartoons* it's um...it's for the Belltower!
the audience: *GASP*
CS: i'll blow it up! I'll do it! *runs over to a HUGE control panel, because obviously the guys were in CS's lair this entire time* *hovers over a ginormous red button*
G-M: eh, go ahead. that thing was a waste of money anyways. Btw, do you have a pair of handcuffs? as protest, i still plan to handcuff myself to presiden-- i mean...um...high counselor flatt.
CS: you don't live in the star wars movies! you're a
nerd!
G-M: why thank you. *smile* *Winks at camera*
female audience: *sigh*
MG: wait! I know what to do! *grabs the phonebook and reads from it, in a low, monotone, coma-inducing voice*
female audience: oooh...
CS: careful ladies, that one's engaged. i mean-- gah! *choke* stop it!
G-M: excellent idea! *shakes the gourd* *shake-a shake-a shake-a*
CS: blargh! curse yoooou! *cough* *flings cheese at them*
G-M and MG: ow! *hit the ground* we've been CHEEEEEEEEE-Zed!
GSM: *falls to his knees, crying to the sky* NOOOO! IS THERE NO JUSTICE?!
G-M: *nibbles on some cheese* ooh! sharp cheddar! i like sharp cheddar.
MG: really? i'm a creme broo-lay man myself.
CS: hahaaaaaaaaa *skips around in his cape*
GSM: *reaches down deep inside himself, and pulls out his, um...inner nerd?* *eyes start glowing* *leaps into the air and flings some go stones, beaning CS in the head*
CS: OW!? *gasp* *chokecough* *flail* NOOOOOOOOOOOO--*inhale*-- OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *thud* you...you....you! now i'll have bruises on my pretty face!audience: *cheer*
female audience: *SQUEE!*
GSM: *superhero pose*
CS: *gets hauled off by the cops* CRUSE YOU, NERD SQUARD!
Cops: ...huh?
CS: I mean...CURSE YOU, NERD SQUAD! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF THE SHAMAN OF CHEEESE!
MG: he yells a lot. and wouldn't he like, use magick (prounounced with a k) to defeat us? since he's like a shaman and all?
CS: WAAAAAAAAAAUGH!
*later, at the local studen cent--i mean, um...pub?*
J, Mr. G, and GoStoneGuy: *in civilian clothes* *clink their styrofoam cups together*
J: well guys, another day in the life.
Mr. G: yeah i tell you...it's not easy being a superhero. since like, our powers are incredibly awesome.
GoStoneGuy: i know! it's so difficult to hide our identities! it's like -- *watch beeps* uhoh. we're needed again, guys. my communicator, just, y'know, beeped.
J: we have communicator watch thingies? cooz! i mean, cool!
Mr. G: leeeet's...go!
all: *pose*
Tune in next time for the excruciating adventures of....*more cool 70's music*
All: THE NERD SQUARD! err...SQUAD!
teh PB sez; 6:56 AM
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